strangers....


cant slp..
is raining outside..
such a gd weather..
shld haf slp de..
lucky tt i dun haf sch tml..
i tot i'm wrong..bt i'm right..


i'm trying.
all this while i'm trying..trying 2 find baq myself..
i wanted 2 b my old self..i reali wan..
i tell myself..be stronger..let it go..
dun stuck here 4ever..
bt i don noe hw 2 stop thinking..it seems lyk everything i do reminds me..
it's lyk e memories haunting me..
hw many thousands times i'm screaming at myself stop thinking!
bt e more i stop myself from tt,e worst i felt..
yes..i'm useless..super useless..
is jus a man,n i bcum lyk this..
i simply don let myself go..touturing myself..
4 so long le..n i'm stil lyk tt..
hw useless i can b..
i hate myself..hate myself 4 being so useless..hate myself 4 crying..
bt i jus cant control e way it hurts..i reali hurts..
it makes me felt so useless..yet i'm crying..e tears jus fall n fall..
every1 is looking at me lyk an alien 2day..
sitting down there crying lyk nobody business..
i felt so alone..
disappointed..
i didnt ask 4 anything..bt am i reali tt detestable tt u hate 2 c me so much..
mayb i m..yes..i m..
i dun nd any1..i dun wan to nd any1..
stop reading my blog if u didnt lyk it..if it make u feel lyk slapping me..
stay away from me if u hate e way i m nw..give me a tight slap if u 1..
i'm throwing away the keys..
n i dun nd any comments 2 this post..
thx


i hate having hope..
cos it wil always end up with disappointment..
is jus so hard 2 hold baq my tears..
nearly my tears drop..
i reali feel very xin gu..
u noe hw much i care..
i'm jus acting lyk i dun..
y is it tt every single thing of urs can hurt me so much..
i dun understand..
tell me..
hw do i walk out of here..
i'm nt strong..nt at all..
i nd sum1..jus sum1 4 me to shout at..
4 me to beat..4 me 2 cry on..
i hate tml..
i dun 1 tml 2 arrive..
i dun 1..


i'm having a bad headache..


a bad match..
mayb ba..
we r never meant 2 b 4 each other..
i tot i knew this long ago..
den y did my heart drop when i heard this..


love is e reason..
when u do things tt even ur own self dun understand..
it jus cant b xplain..


went out with muackies 2day..
cos 2day is moon birthday..
we went kbox..
n i drank teuqila n bourbon..
hmm..teuqila is nicer..
spend quite alot of $$ 2day..
n tml stil mus wrk..
think i enjoyed myself today ba..
=)


ppl changed over time..
when ppl changed..
things changed..
nthing wil remain e same 4ever..
sumtimes,wat it had changed,
cannot b change baq agn..
wat broken cannot be mended baq..
there is always a crack..
no matter hw well u stick it baq..
if it has cracked..
den let it go..
cos no pt holding on to it..
is nt e same anymore..
bt sumtimes things r easier 2 say than 2 b done..
y cant i stop thinking..
y is it so hard 2 let go..
y cant my brain n heart stop functioning..
y y y..
i'm always asking y...
haiz..
sometimes i jus wish i'm away from every1..
jus 1 2 b alone..


i jus wish tt u r happy n healthy..
hope everything goes well 4 u..


nthing..
i noe it very well tis wld happen..
y?
y is it a no reply..
it hurts..hurts so much lyk hell..
forget it..
i shall jus pretend nthing had happen..


ah ting ar..
jus wanna tell u 2 jia you 4 ur Os..
u can do it de..
don see so lowly of urself..
reali..
mus trust urself..
jia you!
gambate!!
=)


played mj 4 e whole day today..
fun..
bt feel abit bad cos dg lose $$..
cos lyk i indirectly hai him lose de..
i rather i lose la..
n tt sb can u stop winning so much $$..
i noe is nt ur fault la..who don wan win..
bt..out of 10 times u gt 8 times wil win de..
can give us sum times ma..
haiz..nvm la..
another happy thing..
i cook lunch 4 myself n 4 jo,dg n hl today..
haha..
1st tym cooking 4 so many ppl 2 eat..
hope is nt too nan chi..
lol=D


i realise i can b so crazy sumtimes..
bt it is a gd way to hide my emotions..
i reali don understand myself at all..
haiz..


haiz..
sian sian sian..
i gt nthing to do so here blogging..
hn is blogging..
joanna is trying to watch high sch musical with no sound..
bt the lab the com gt no speaker..
kk..bell called..
gtg le..
bb=)



hn faster la..
u've been blogging 4 e past 1/2 an hr..
=P


haha..i nw in sch lab..1st tym in sch blogging..lol..
2day no nd wrk..so happy..finally can rest le..
haiz..
women r jus stupid..
very very stupid..
knowing it is impossible bt stil don wish 2 accept it..
n ending up hurting themselves more..
bt it's all out of tt 1 word love..
bt i don regret wat i haf done..
haiz..
wen shi jian qing wei he wu..
haha..my poetry(did i spell correctly) tym..
lol=P


i feel so bad nw..


sch starting in 9 hrs tym..
holi ending..
haiz..
blood agn..
i scratch until my hand bleed agn..
haiz..
nvm..
this happen everyday..
i jus cant control my itchy hand..
jus lyk e way..
i cant control e heartpain..


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y lie y lie y lie y lie..wat last promise..u r jus lying to me!!!!!!!
i hate u i hate u i hate u!!!!!!yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
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i love u..i reali love u..u noe?? no..u don noe..u don....u don u don....
nothing is left..nthing........nthing........
y


had a busy day at ton 2day..
have been wrking alot this wk..
tiring..
don noe y i wan to wrk so much..
bcos of $$?? mayb ba..
or i jus don wan myself to b so free..
or simply bcos i like wrking..
haha..mayb is all of e above..
hmm..stil need 2 wrk another 2 more days jiu can rest le..
jia you ba..=)


take my heart out n haf a look..
it wasnt beating..
it's crying..


i wish we were stil sitting in e same classrm..
watching u looking ouside e window..
looking at ur smile..
even when we don tok at all..
even we jus walk sliently tgt..
i noe we r friends..


sumtimes
i jus wish tt my brain n heart stop functioning..


sch starting..
i promise myself i wont b lyk last sem..
bt y do i feel lyk i wil break this promise..
argh..i don noe.
i only noe i cant repeat my mistakes agn..
yes..i cant..


i don noe..
feel lost..
seems nthing means anymore..


jus finish playing mj..2day gt alot of ppl..sb,jr,dg,me n hl..sumtimes wan find 1 ppl oso so hard..den today gt 5 lei..lol..so happy..reali enjoyed playing mj with them..i can throw my watever no gd de things behind at tt tym..although i lose $$..bt i'm stil happy..lol..bt think when sch reopen jiu no tym play le..haiz..wil miss playing with them de..


was thinking jus nw if i had go JC or SP,
wld story b diff??
mayb i wil like my life alot more..
or i wil jus hate it more..
think everything is fated..
i didnt wrk hard enough tt tym..
is myself to blame..
if u had went JC tt tym..
i noe my story wil b diff..
cos u wil nt step in to my life..
if i can choose agn..
wat wil i choose? haha..i don noe..
bt i cant changed anything nw..
jus let it go on ba..
the days in sec sch..haf been e most wonderful days in my life..
nw everything changes..including me..
haiz..


perhaps tis de best..


the pain..
jus don go away..


pain,
did u 4get ur way hm??
y is it tt u always stay with me??
i noe i'm alone..
bt i don wan ur company..
can u pls go hm??


it's raining outside nw..
suddenly..
i wish tt i could walk in e rain..
let de rain..
wash away all my tears,
bring away all my pain..
n take away all my thoughts..
jus me n e rain..


mayb i haf a choice..
bt i choose 2 b alone..
i know there r my friends n family..
bt i locked myself inside..
so tt no 1 cums in..
n yet i'm screaming 4 help..
mayb i'm jus 2 afraid tt i'm nt alone..


i nd sum1 2 b here..
jus 2 listen..
lending me a shoulder 4 me 2 cry on..
telling me everything is ok..
jus sum1 so tt i don feel alone..

1


2


3


no 1 is here..
it's stil me..
n me..


2day ton was sos so busy..
super tire nw..
feel lyk my bones r gg 2 break..
bt yet i lyk it this way..
haha..i'm weird..


meeting u was fate..
bcuming ur friend was a choice..
bt falling in love with u..
was way beyond my control..
n leaving u..
i didnt haf a choice 2..


i know,
i'm waiting...
bt i didnt know,
wat am i waiting 4..
or it is tt i dun wish to noe..
cos so wat even i noe..


y is it tt i noe it is bad,
bt i stil do it..
y is it tt i noe it wil nvr happen,
bt deep down i stil believe tt miracle exsits..


i know wat is happening..
bt i jus don wish 2 care..
mayb i'm jus lying to myself..
bt i know this is e best way..
i'm tire..
i jus wan 2 be alone..
i wish i don feel..


here is a small test..take a pencil n pen to record ur ans..


nw..
imagine urself walking on an empty street,
the sky is dark..

den..
u saw a bottle of water lying on e floor..
wat wil u do?
1)pick it up n throw into e rubbish bin
2)kick it n play with it
3)jus ignore it
4)stare at it thinking wat to do


den u continue walking..
nw u saw a pic on the wall..wat do u think u c?
1)nthing,full of vuglarities
2)lonliness
3)a love story
4)cartoon characters


den..
when u r at e end of the street..u realise u drop something importan..
wat is tt impt thing?
1)wallet
2)hp
3)mp3
4)urself


wat wil u do after u realise u drop something impt behind?
1)go back n find
2)dun care n walk away
3)standing down there thinking whether u shld go back n take anot..
4)squating down crying..





ok..nw lets us take a look at ur ans..
here e result..


















which is no result..wahahhahaha..i'm jus 2 bored..so here to write sum rubbish..lol
those who gt cheated by me dun feel angry or sad..cos is ur honour 2 get cheated by a genius plus cute gal..wahahaha=D


i jus cant seem 2 4get tt u r nt here anymore..
y?


went baq OG wrk today..very sian..bt i stil learn lots of things..haha..nw my eyes very tire..esp when looking at e screen..gg slp liao..so cum here say gdnite..nite!


is always me watching u left..
u nvr noe hw bad it feels..
u nvr see e tears behind u..
all u do..
is 2 continue walking til u disappear in my sight..
do u noe..
i'm always standing behind waiting 4 u 2 turn baq..
bt..
nvr once u did..
y didnt u turn baq??
y?


i dun understand myself..
i find myself stupid..
n irritating..


jus reach hm..cos fenru papa bring us to geylang to eat supper..i ate quite alot..nw super de full..after supper we go walk walk c c..lol..bt feel abit scare walking on e street..we stil walk in to e sex toy shop n walk along the woman street..an eye open 4 me..
n congrats 2 ah jay..finally found ur angel le..think he mus b smiling very happily nw ba..wish tt ur can last long long..all e best=)








can i nt listen to wat my heart says..
i'm missing u...


i don wish...


today is a happy day..=)


i realise i keep stoning nowdays..
haiz..


i know i'm lying to myself..


dere r so many things in life tt is nt within control..
s many things tt we cant predict..
haf u ever regret wat u did in ur life b4??
i did..
bt do we haf the rite 2 even regret..
i don noe..
do u sumtimes wish tt u cld live in a world by ur own self??
i guess it wld b so much easier..
wat is rites n wat is wrong?
sumtimes its so tiring jus 2 figure tis out..
jus let it b ba..
watever wil happen..wil..
watever wont..wil nvr..

i'm tire..


is always tt..
i'm faking e other half of my laughter,
i couldnt take it,n breakdown n cried when walking..
i stare in the blank when ppl ard me r talking..
when i'm trying 2 find a resaon 2 smile,n realise u r e 1 tt came into my mind..


i no me results le..i pass all my subject..bt i'm nt s happy s i expected..dun noe y..





i jus wan 2 b alone...


i trapped myself..


如果从飞机跳下来,
才发现忘了带降落伞,
怎么办???











































































































































答案: 闭起眼睛,准备投胎..

哈哈,,有没有很好笑??


a fews days didnt update my blog le..haha..cos busy 'wrking'..haha..my dream finally cum true la..i'm wrking @ hm..can eat,do watever i wan..jus need to type type type..lol..i jus finish my 500 forms..frankly speaking..very time wasting..i use dun noe hw many hrs 2 complete de..n with my sis helping..thx ar ting..but nt a bad job la..since i @ hm oso nthing to do..type something to earn $$ better..lol..bt dun spoilt my eyes jiu can liao..i dun wan spec de..haha..
another thing..i'm getting fatter n fatter..so mus exercise more..this few days quite hardworking...gt go running..plus..nt using the lift..climbing stairs instead..lol..n i think i dun hate exercising liao..start 2 lyk it liao..haha..if in e past ar..ask me go running is wantin my life lo..haha..
k la..shall stop here..=)