devastated..
i dun haf a vocab to describe how i feel nw
totally big disappoinment
u betrayed my trust once agn
n the biggest mockery is tt i'm the total disppointment too
i have nt done wat i shld haf done
i had believed u
i had been keeping things from my old father
the weight is so heavy
i dun know who i cld turn to when i haf to make a choice
if i dun help, u will hate me
if i help, i wil hate myself
wat shld i do
wat shld i do
wat shld i do
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i have myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself

that's it
dun hav to wry if i'm fine, i'm alright,i jus dun wan to tok abt this anymore
i will changed for the better
nothing will pulled me down
n i mean nthing from today onwards.


i ended the day with a brand new hope.


i dun blame anyone or thing
but i hate it when them took the smile away from her


Sumpats, this is a post for all of your, if there's any part that ur dun understand pardon, it's kinda distracting with my parent arguement s background music.
this is wat i felt over the past 2 days
last night, i saw my sis cried, i ask her y, bt she said nthing..
i know is bcos of us, i told her is gg to be ok, i told her our friendship will nt be so easily broken, i told her all of us treasure this friendship alot, i told her nt to worry, this is just to make ur stronger..but deep down, i doubt myself.
last night, i've managed to contol my tears, but as i was reading qi n my sis post, i broke down.it pains me so so much.i wonder why things cant b as easy as abc, y cant we stay tgt bcos we wan to stay tgt. but it's nt easy at all, i run thr everything in my mind, i want to try to find a solution to it,but i reali cant figure out wat is there i can do to salvage it.i felt so helpless.i may nt be able to understand how qi feel exactly, but i guess i do understand the diappointment n pain she felt.scars wil only fade,bt they stay with u til the day u die.disappointment is such a painful feeling,something that i'm most afraid of.i had too much disappointment with my mum, n it's growing like nvr ending, i dun noe how to stop it expanding,i rather i cld give up on her, bt no, i cant, cos i love her, cos i cldnt bring myself to hate her,i can only forgive her times after times,i know only this way i can make myself feel better n her to feel better. i dun wan agony n regrets.even i know is jus a vicious cycle, i can only wait, wait til her repent her way.deep down, i always believe the day wil come, n our family will be happy agn.Sumpats is jus like my family, it reali pains me to see one hurting another.i dun blame anyone, cos in love, there's no right or wrong. if things goes wrong, there's only 2 dumb dumb hurting each other, jus that the one who show hand lose it all.
guys,i know we needed time,but pls, dun give up our friendship so easily, my sis is a simple n strong girl, she dun speak out her pain, n in her life the 2 things tt matter most to her is my family n sumpats. my family hasn't been bringing her much happiness,is us that bring laughthers to her life, if she had to lose this family tats she is so proud of,it will be too much for her to take.



i guess, a life without disappointments isn't call a life, though it isn't a healthy feeling but i'mn trying to accept it into my life. i've a way to empty the overloading ones so tt there's space for new ones in the future.so that i dun drive myself crazy..


all things come to an end eventually, be it good or bad..
only is that i din expect it to come so fast
i'm sad, but no longer angry
i know it is nt that bad that nthing cld be done
as it's not totally broken, like a piece of mirror, it had crack bt it's still useable
cracks r so scary, is like is nvr meant to be mend, once caused, it will be there forever.
i saw 2 endings to this problem, either we end it by bringing our friendship to a whole new lvl,or shattered apart, i just hope it isn't the latter
my only wish wld be my loved ones to be happy n healthy.


idk..but i always felt that there's something b/w us..i have always find it hard to reach to u,you always seems to be standing a distance away from me.what is it? is it the crack?


wat am i suppose to do?
wat can i do to help u?
is it bcos i haven been doing enough
i'm tire alr, i wanted to jus leave everything alone
we have all been living under ur lies
it reali pains me to c u like tt


i want to say...
that's life


had been spending time with muackies for the past 2 days..
n yeah..was 2 happy days spent..
though most of the time i wan to tap hong u mouth..hahaha..
n ltr gg to meet the sumpats..haha..looking forward to it!
=)


sometimes, it's jus ain't abt how much u put in...


i'm so happy!
i finally found the joy in teaching
u cant imagine how happy i am when the mum called me to tell me her daughter good results n how touch i am when she thanks me for it
my hard work paid off
i'm gg to work double hard from today onwards
=D


thousands and millions times
. .... ...


want to grab hold of what's left
but i'm losing it